full of niff
by DemGayShips
Summary: strangers to lovers? will niff be together at last? FULL OF NIFF
1. From the start

There we were, sitting in warbler rehearsal waiting for Wes, Thad and David to announce who got the solo for regionals.

Nick, Blaine, Kurt and I had all auditioned for it. This was my 6th time, it was tough. I decided to sing the Jonas brother's song 'love bug' and did a massive high on the last note. The waiting is intense. None of us are looking at each other; we're all waiting for the verdict.

"Warbler member's Blaine, Kurt, nick and Jeff, you may enter the room now" we all entered in after Wes had called for us. Nick was very fidgety; this was only his 3rd time going up for a solo.  
>"Blaine" Wes continued "congratulations on your solo" he finished smiling.<p>

"i-i-i got the solo?" _don't act surprised_, I thought "congrats Blaine you deserved it!" I pull him into a hug before quickly releasing him. _Fuck you Blaine Anderson_. Out of the corner of my eye I see the tear's slip down nicks face. We hadn't really talked that much, he wasn't in any of my classes, and we only knew each other from warbler practice.  
>"Sorry you didn't get in" I say to nick, taking the seat beside him. "It's ok, Blaine's a really good singer" nick looked really sad. <em>I'm going to kill you Blaine Anderson!<em> "Come with me" I say to nick and he follows me down the corridor.

"WH-where are we going" nick asks me as we turn the corner towards the art class.  
>"Whenever I get mad, sad, angry etc I come here and paint" I replied handing nick a paintbrush and collecting one for me too. "Th -thanks but I'm I'm not a very good, a very good artist" he says handing the paintbrush back towards me "you don't have to be good Nicky, just splash the paint over the paper" <em>shit! I just called him Nicky<em>. "Um j-j-Jeff, why you just called me Nicky?" the brunette says to me smiling and blushing. _He looks hot when he blushes_. "Um well I have a cousin called nick, and I call him Nicky" _worlds worse liar_ "ok, jeffy" he replied smirking as he stroke the paintbrush over the canvas_. Jeffy, I like it_.

_It wasn't a big deal when I came out. My parents already knew and were waiting for me to tell them, my friends on the other hand, were not very thrilled about it.  
>"I'm sorry what" James asked me. "I'm gay James"<br>"I heard you the first time you fucking faggot!" "Please James! You're my friend! You have to accept me for who I am!" an open hand came across my face as I hit the ground sobbing. "James"  
>"stays the fuck away from me! You hear me sterling" I nod my head slightly, still clutching my cheek. As soon as James was round the corner I let a loud sob escape my mouth. The whole way home I couldn't help but remember the two words he said 'fucking faggot' school was going to be hell, everyone would know by now. I kept thinking about this all the way home. James Cameron can fuck off. My first love, Logan stein found out too. He made my middle school life hell! Everyday I would go to school, get tossed in dumpsters, get food thrown at me and pushed into lockers. I would get home, go straight to my room, and cover up the fresh bruises on my body. I swore to myself I would never love again. But now I find myself trapped in the web of love. In love with one nick duval. I had only seen him in warbler practice, but I knew I liked him. His brunette hair, his green eyes, he had it going on in all the right places. God bless nick duval. <em>

"I see what you mean by stress relief" nick says finishing his painting. "Told you paint does wonders" I continue placing the paintbrush in the sink. "Let me have a look" I finish, picking up the painting. Nick just blushes. "Is that... is that"

"You? Yes it's a portrait of you" _hot. _

"Oh, well, it's very ah- very me like"

"I'm s-s-sorry" nick completes snatching the painting out of my hand. "I have to – have to go" he says, running out of the room. "Nick – nick wait" I call out after him, but he is nowhere to be seen. _Well fuck! _

"I drew you too" I whisper smally sliding my back down the cold hard wooden wall.

"Jeff? Are you ok?"

"Yes, of course why wouldn't I be?"

"Well for starter's you've been sitting on the ground for 2 hour's" _2 hours? Shit! _"And second your eye's are wet which means you've been crying" _well fuck! _

"I'm fine Blaine, just leave me alone" I get up wiping my eyes on my jersey.

"Does this have anything to do with nick?" Blaine asks.

"N - No! Why would you say that?"

"Because he's crying too... and you were staring at him throughout warbler rehearsals" _well fuck! _

"I – I –I d-didn't"

"Don't lie Jeff" Blaine looked at me disapprovingly.

"I'm starting to like him"

"Wait you're gay?"

"Blaine! You already knew that"

"I know" he say's mockingly.

"I hate you!"

"No Jeff, you love me"

"Ha – not true" I say putting on a fake smile.

"So why are you crying over nick?"

"I did something bad and now I have ruined my chances with him" I look down at the ground sadly.

"Jeff, nick isn't gay, you have no chance" _well there goes that plan. _

"I kn- know, bu- ut"  
>"no but Jeff! He's not gay; I don't want to see you hurt okay?" Blaine pleads as he places his hand on my shoulder.<p>

"Alright Blaine"

"Good" I fake smile at him and he carries down the corridor. _Nick is gay! I know it! And he will be mine! Fuck you Blaine Anderson. He WILL be mine! _


	2. scared nick

*nicks p.o.v*

I nervously look around at the competition. I'm so not going to get this solo for regionals! Look who I'm up against, a short, curly haired, harry potter nerd. A tallish, gay face looking teenager. A handsome young boy with a sexy smile and cute blonde hair. _Did I just call him cute? Well fuck! _And then there is me. The sexiest bitch at Dalton, who has a hot as girlfriend called Santana and sings like a dream. Now we just wait until they announce the solo win. I'm very fidgety today I just have no idea why, this is however, the 3rd time I've gone up for a solo..

"Warbler member's Blaine, Kurt, nick and Jeff, you may enter the room now" we all entered in after Wes had called for us "Blaine" Wes continued "congratulations on your solo" he finished smiling.

_Did he just say Blaine? What the actual fuck! I deserved that solo more! _I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't realise I was crying until Jeff comes and sits next to me. "Sorry you didn't get the solo"

"Its okay, Blaine is a really good singer" I reply.

"Come with me"

Jeff takes my hand and I swear electricity just shot through us both. _No nick! Snap out of it! You are not gay! You have a girlfriend, a really hot girlfriend! _I snap out of my thoughts quickly and ask him where we are going. He leads me into a room that holds art supplies. A paintbrush is then thrusted into my hand "I paint whenever I get angry, sad etc"

"I'm not much of an artist" I mumble.

"Just paint Nicky" _did he just? This is not happening._

"Ok jeffy" I see him grab a paintbrush from the jar as well and we stand there in silence painting for a good 5 minutes.

"Let's see what you painted" he said, smiling that beautiful smile of his. _This is getting stupid. _

"is that- is that"

"Yes, it's a picture of you!"

"It's a- it's very me like"

"I have to- I have to go" I chuck the paintbrush in the sink and run out of the room still holding the painting.  
>I run up to my dorm room and slam the door behind me.<p>

"Why the fuck am I so stupid? I have a girlfriend, a hot girlfriend why am I getting upset over a boy? Over a freaking hot, sexy, handsome boy that. Am I gay? No! I can't be gay! It's just not possible" I mumble into my pillow before slamming my fist against it. "This. Can. Not. Happen." I yell between punches. "I'm a jock, I play lacrosse, football and hockey. Captain all three teams too. If someone, anyone finds out this crush I have on Jeff. Fuck! What am I saying I don't like Jeff! I have a girlfriend. I have a fucking girlfriend" I scream before punching my pillow continuously again and again.

10 minutes later I hear a loud knock on the door and a grumpy Santana pushes through. "when were you going to tell me?" she demands staring right into my eyes. "tell you what? What have I done, santan, tell me what have I done wrong?"

"you know exactly what you did you fucking dick!" an open hand comes across my face and I yell out in pain.

"Santana calm the fuck down, and tell me what I did!"

"you" she exhales loudly then begins to yell again "you and your little butt boy Jeff"

"Jeff and I have never spoken before"

"liar! Don't lie to me you liar! I saw you, in the art room with him! When what? You painted a picture of him? Why didn't you want to paint a picture of me? I wouldn't mind being painted you know"

"fine! I'll go paint you a picture now"

"no, nick, we are over" with that she turns around and stomps out the door. _Well fuck! I'm so oblivious! I really like Jeff. Even Santana can see that! But Jeff is straight and- and I think i'm bisexual THE FUCK! This is stupid!. _I get up and walk out of my bedroom door slamming it shut behind me. I walk down the stairs of Dalton, past the headmasters (noticing Jeff there with his suitcase?) I storm down the corridor round the corner, march straight to the guidance counsellor and bang on the door heavily. A blonde haired, blue eyed woman opens the door.

"Yes" she asks

"I need an urgent appointment" she nods in agreement and goes to pull an appointment slip out of her folder. I've never been this angry in my life.


	3. The corridor

Nick, why did you run off the other day?" Jeff asked, placing his lunch tray on the table in front of him.

"Had somewhere to go" I mumble back to him turning away to walk briskly over towards the table on the other end of the cafeteria.

"Wait nick" _damn it!_

"Yes Jeff?"

"Have lunch with me"

"um..." I stall thinking of an excuse to not sit with Jeff. It fails "sure I can sit with you" I plaster a fake smile on my face and I join Jeff on the now busy table.

"So how was your first class?" Jeff asks, taking a bite of his tuna fish sandwich.

"It was interesting..." I say, remembering what had happened that morning.

"So nick, why the urgent appointment?"

"i-i-i thinks I'm gay" Mrs. Sterling's eyes shot up in surprise. "Any boy in particular?" she asks, pen lying on the pad of paper in front of her.

"His name is Jeff" I smile suddenly at the pound of his name. "

You're in love with my son?" even more intrigued now.

"Shit" I had completely forgotten that Mrs. Sterling was Jeff's mother. _I should have clicked when I found out they had the same last name, and now Jeff, the boy I think I love's movies knows that I love him and will tell him! Oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIT!_ "I'm not going to tell him if that's what you're worried about"

"Th- thanks"

"But for the record, he likes you too"

"Are you even allowed to say that?"

"Probably not, but they won't find out" she replied thumbing towards the door and chuckling. I give off another fake smile; I've been doing that a lot lately.

"I don't know what to do"

"About what?"

"About Jeff, he's just, he's just so" I fling my arms around in hope of her figuring out what I'm trying to say.

"I know what you mean, I have known him for 16years" _Jeff's only 16 wow a younger boy_, _this has never happened before_. "I'm sorry for bringing it to you, I have no real family and I couldn't exactly tell Jeff about it. I hope you understand"

"Nick, I'm a guidance counsellor; of Corse I know what you mean. Hang in there if it's meant to happen it will."

"Thanks Mrs. Sterling" the bell rings and interrupts us. I walk out into the corridor. Jeff freaking loves me! Jeff loves me! Ah! I feel like such a girl!

"Nick, nick, NICK!" Jeff yells and I finally soap back to reality. "I'm sorry; my mind was elsewhere what did you want?"

"I asked why it was interesting"

"Oh right, I um..." I think of an excuse, nothing comes up_. Do it nick! Be a man._ "Jeff I..."

"What nick? What is it? Why-why are you crying? Nick, oh nick come here" he comes towards me and pulls me into a big hug. The sobs escape my mouth loudly, "I-I: I"

"Shh sh shh it's okay... You don't need to tell me" he pulls me in tighter. I know now, I never want to leave his side. "JEFF I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" I scream so half the cafeteria looks towards us strangely. I push him away and run out the door. Jeff follows me out.

"Nick" he yells to me down the corridor. "I love you too!" I stop in my tracks, Mrs. Sterling was right! I run up towards him pulling him close. "Please don't leave" I whisper in his ear.

"I won't ever leave you, there's something I need to show you!" I look up at him confused. "What is it?" "Come with me" if grabs my hand and pulls me down the corridor. _Where are we going?_ "Jeff where are you taking me?" I asked as he pulled me along the corridor up to the dorm room. "You'll have to wait and see" he replies. After 2 more minutes of walking. Jeff stops outside dorm 36. "Why are we at my dorm room?" "My name is Jeff, I am your new dorm mate, I'm gay and I'm in love with a handsome man named nick duval"


	4. AUTHORS NOTE

AUTHORS NOTE:

So I am like the worst updater in history! I have completed chapter 4 and in the process of typing it up. I really do apologize! Also my other fanfics "sweet klaine" and "journal of nick duval" will be updated in the next 2 weeks! disclaimer: I do not own glee, or niff, or any other characters mentioned. I do however own riker lynch :P okay no, I don't own riker ( no matter how much I want to) I WILL TRY TO UPDATE FASTER! I PROMISE


	5. secrets aren't meant to be shared

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GLEE. I DO NOT OWN Jeff OR NICK... AS MUSCH AS I WANT THEM! WARNINGS OF ABUSE AND MAY BE TRIGGERING! REVIEWS ARE MY BABIESSSS! LOVE YOU AND ENJOY THIS CHAPTER! FULL OF NIFF... **

"Jeff that's fantastic" nick gladly spoke while pulling the taller boy into a tight embrace.

We both walk into the now messy dorm room. Clothes strewn on the floor in an untidy fashion and books half open on the desk.

"I see you made yourself at home already" nick chuckles, as he makes a start on picking the clothes up off the floor. If you can even call it that.

"Sorry" I mumble, I shake the back of my hair before returning to help nick with the cleaning.

After all the cleaning is done we settle for a movie night consisting of girly chic flicks. We snuggle up on my bed in front of the TV, with skittles, chippies and coke.

After the movie had finished soft sobs could be heard around the room.

"Jeff, Jeff is you okay?" nick asked, worried about his new boyfriend. I just sob harder.

"It wasn't that sad! It was only titanic." I'm literally gasping for air as the tears roll down my cheek.

"Is there something that you're not telling me?" he asks, entwining his fingers in mine. I sit up. _Should I tell him? He is my boyfriend after all, man up Jeff! Grow some balls it's been two fucking years" _

A loud shaky breath escapes my mouth.

"Don't be scared, it's okay, tell me what's wrong" just to know nick was there was re-assuring enough to finally open up.

"May 6th, the day my sister died, she went on a cruise to the Bahamas. The boat it- it hit an iceberg and it- and it sunk. I'm so sorry; I know this was out of the blue. I feel like I'm rushing this a bit, but I've never been able to watch titanic without thinking of my big sister Julia, sorry" I finally add at the end.

"Oh Jeff" nick pulls me even closer, rubbing my back and whispering into my hair.

"I'm glad you told me, I would have thought you were a girl crying over a chic flick" a sorry smile spreads across his face. _Damn those gorgeous eyes of his. _I pull him into a loving kiss and we flick the TV off, falling asleep in each other's arms.

The alarm clock buzzes loudly and it signals that it's time to get up.

"Come on Jeff time to get up" nick mumbles, peppering kisses a top of my head.

"Mmmmm 5 more minutes" I rolled over and pulled nick in tighter.

"No Jeff we'll be late to class!"

"Fine" I sit up, rubbing sleep out of my eyes and stretching. Nick just stares at me.  
>"Hey, at least I'm up" I say smacking him over the head with a pillow.<p>

"Touché, touché sterling"

"Dibs on bathroom first" I half yell, sprinting towards the bathroom and lock the door shut.

**{page break} **

I look towards the locked bathroom door. Jeff usually takes about 20 minutes to do his hair alone. Or so I am estimating. I walk towards the full length mirror and take off my t-shirt. It's weird; no one's ever seen this side of me... the broken side.

I've never told anyone about why I am at Dalton, about why I only go home at Christmas break, or why I always wear t-shirts when everyone else is wearing no shirt at all.

My dad is an alcoholic. He'd always come home late from work smelling of alcohol. You see, my dad was a raging alcoholic he never really cared about me or my mum. He was very violent, always hitting me and us. My mum left when I was 8 years old, she didn't die... she just left. We still keep in contact. My dad never let me see her, he didn't know we still emailed. My dad continued to hit me. He never realised how much it hurt. It never drew blood, but it left purple bruises everywhere. One time when I was 14 I came home early from school. Dad was on the phone, face whitening as each second went on. He glared towards the door, face getting angry. The phone dropped to the ground and ran towards me, throwing his hands around my neck and slamming me against the kitchen wall.

"When were you going to tell me" he growled.  
>"Dad, I don't understand what you're saying"<p>

"Don't lie to me!" he slapped me across the face. At first I thought it was just because he was drunk, but he didn't smell of alcohol. He hit me, _sober! _ My face fell as realisation hit. My dad _knew _and he hit me because of it. Things were rushing through my mind at one point, first being, who had told him. Names ran through my head as I tried to figure out who had told him. Most of all... what would happen now?

"I want you out!"

"But dad" I cried, he may be a violent father but I needed him now more than ever.

"I am not your father! No son of mine will be queer" he hit me again. I lifted my hand up to support my face. He pushed me to the ground and my shirt ripped in the process. A thin line of blood escaped from the small cut that lay centimetres from my chest.

Ï don't want a faggot!" he grabs a bottle of beer and smashes it on the top of the counter. I feel the sharp pricks of the class as it comes into contact with my skin. I close my eyes, this hurts a lot, but I won't let him win. I hide back the tears that threaten to fall. He shouts abuse at me and continues to slash me with the glass. He walks away from me lying there, covered in my own blood. It's only then when I realised what he had done. A three letter word that will stay with me forever.

**F. A. G**

**[Page break} **

The bathroom door unclicks and I'm forced back into reality, throwing my shirt a top of my head.

"Forgot my clothes" Jeff says lamely as he trudges back to the bathroom, this time with clothes.

"Save the story for another day" I say to myself, stepping out of sight from the mirror.


End file.
